Posted by Shradha Balakrishnan on Tue, Aug 24, 2010
A guest post by Lynn Harris:
Why you should view networking as an essential leadership competency
Many of my coaching clients either say they don’t like networking, or they simply don’t have the time for it. They say things like:
“People who network contact me only when they want something.”
“Networking events are awful. They are full of people thrusting business cards into my hand while looking over my shoulder for someone who might be more useful.”
“I don’t have the time or the energy to network. At the end of the day all I want to do is get home to see my kids before they go to bed.”
In the light of such comments, it might be helpful to clarify what networking is not about.
It’s not about exchanging business cards, working a room, having unproductive lunch or coffee meetings, sucking up to important people or manipulating others for your own benefit.
What networking is about is building strategic business relationships as a core leadership competency.
Why bother?
Building a network of professional relationships enables you to:
- Develop your leadership capacity by accessing diverse perspectives and relevant information from which you can gain new insights and make intelligent decisions.
- Influence successfully within your industry/profession and across your organization.
- Support others within your network of relationships.
- Get the support you need to be even more successful in your current role.
- Influence your career progression.
- And gain energy and stimulation from interesting people.
Taking networking seriously as a core leadership competency can make the difference between :
Being a good leader who is stuck you your current role, to an excellent leader who is going places;
Being a member of a profession, and a respected leader of that profession;
Being a person whose sphere of influence is small, to a leader who is known and respected by many;
And being a person who thinks and acts strategically to manage your career, and someone who reacts to career opportunities if and when they come along.
If you have so far viewed networking as a “nice to do if I had the time” it would be wise to rethink your approach and view it as “an essential leadership attribute I need to master.”
How to take a more strategic approach
A reactive approach to networking goes something like: “I will set aside five hours per week to network.” This doesn’t usually work because you are creating a task out of a perceived need.
As soon as more immediate needs come along, this task drops off the end of your to-do list.
A more strategic approach is to create a diverse network of relationships as a way of life. This means you need to:
- Be open and available to make contact with people around you, rather than burying your head in tasks.
- Find ways to invest in and become an asset to others.
- Dig your well before you’re thirsty – build your network of relationships through investing in others long before you need help or support from the people in your network.
- Build relationships all the time, as a way of life. We all have opportunities to develop relationships every day, both inside and outside of our organizations – take them.
- Be interested and interesting – building a network of relationships requires mutual connection where both parties are stimulated by the interaction.
- Don’t be afraid to talk about yourself – women, in particular, have a reputation for putting others’ needs and interests before their own, which might be an admirable quality but will not result in mutual connections and a network of mutually beneficial relationships.
- Be a connector – make introductions and bring individuals and groups together.
- Join professional networks where you can make new contacts, be exposed to diverse thinking and build new friendships.
- Follow through – reconnect and stay in touch with people.
In today’s organizations, building and maintaining networks of mutually beneficial professional relationships is the way we do business and progress our careers.
Just in case you hadn’t realized it – networking has become an essential leadership competency, not a “nice to do if I had the time.”
If you want more in-depth advice on how to build networks of strategic professional relationships, you will find a chapter in Unwritten Rules: What Women Need To Know About Leading In Today's Organizations.
About Lynn Harris:
Lynn Harris brings over 20 years of managerial, leadership and consulting experience in large organizations. She runs her own executive development practice based in Montreal, Canada where she specializes in executive coaching, team development and meeting facilitation. She also works internationally with colleagues from Europe delivering organizational change projects and leadership development workshops.
Author: Unwritten Rules What Women Need To Know About Leading In Today's Organizations
www.unwrittenrulesthebook.com
Posted by Shradha Balakrishnan on Thu, Jul 29, 2010
Guest post by Jen Dalitz:
New research from the Tuck School of Business has shown that 90% of female MBA students prefer a male boss. A 2009 survey of 2,000 British working women revealed 63% would prefer a male over a female boss. And a 2008 survey from the University of Toronto highlighted that women working under a sole female supervisor reported more distress and physical stress symptoms than women working under a lone male supervisor.
So what is going on here? Are all female bosses dragon ladies? And if everyone prefers working for a male boss, what does this mean for the sphinxx vision of seeing women equally represented in leadership roles?
While it’s one thing for movies like The Devil Wears Prada and The Proposal to portray women bosses as dragon ladies, do the movies actually mirror your experience? Is it history that sets the stereotypical gender of a boss as male, or all other things being equal, do women and men actually prefer men as bosses?
When I received an article from one of the sphinxx leadership program members, with links to the ForbesWomen views on Male Vs. Female Bosses I have to say I was stunned by some of the comments: “Women have been evil bosses to me in the past”; “A man any day of the week”; “Female bosses are either b*tches or bimbos”. Wow.
For my part, I’ve had some spectacularly bad bosses who were men. I’ve had great bosses that are men too, and a couple of wonderful women bosses who remain mentors to me today. I haven’t had any dragon lady bosses, thank goodness, but I acknowledge that some people have. I wonder what your experience is - whether you’re male or female - and if there’s anything women who aspire to leadership roles could learn from it.
I’ve been trying to think back to the men and women bosses I’ve had over the years, and whether there where any discernable differences in their management styles. One thing that strikes me is that most of the women were more efficient and effective - they were really certainly caring, but also very focused on the business outcomes and had a track record in delivery. Some of the men on the other hand were more, well, “fun”. You know, they were lighthearted, they were the first to round up the team and take us to the pub to celebrate our wins, and apart from the odd crisis at work, they appeared otherwise to have not a care in the world, which may have made them seem more approachable. And one big difference is that all of my male bosses had wives who managed their life away from work. Many of these wives made a full time job of looking after their home and family and, in turn, my boss... so I wonder if that played a part in how these boss blokes were perceived. And whether the fact that my female bosses didn't have a "wife" made them - out of necessity - that bit more task oriented.
It’s just a sneaking suspicion... and I could be wrong... but I know in my case it’s the stuff away from work that very much drives how my colleagues and staff perceive me. When the pressure is on away from work, it crosses over to my work life as well. But maybe that's just me...
If you’re a woman reading this blog, I’d love you to not only to discuss this topic with your peers, and share your views, but also to forward it on to your male colleagues and bosses for their opinion. And blokes: truly, we’re up for it. Tell us what you think it will take to improve perceptions of women at the top and get involved in the discussion. I'd love to hear from you all on this very important issue.
Jen Dalitz is obsessed with getting more women into leadership roles, in our workplaces and communities. As the sheEO and founder of sphinxx, the network for female senior managers, she runs the wildly successful Ascend development days, publishes a weekly newsletter of tips, resources and articles for working women, and mentors, advocates for and consults on topics relating to working women.
Posted by Erin Colbert on Mon, Jul 19, 2010
A guest post by Nancy Shields:Don Miguel Ruiz states in his book The Four Agreements, “Be impeccable with your word, speak with integrity, and say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.” It is so refreshing when someone tells you they are going to do something and they actually do it. I’m sure this can surprise you since we as a society are accustomed to people not doing what they say. As a human, the word is a most powerful tool. It’s the tool of magic. But like a two edged sword, your word can create a most incredible dream, or the word can shatter everything around you.
On one side you have the misuse of the word which creates hell on earth and the other side is the impeccable word, which creates love, beauty and bliss. The word can set you free or it can imprison you more than you can imagine. The incredible magic within you is all based on your word. The word is pure magic that comes out of your mouth, or it can be black magic if misused. I will tell you that is possible – it’s possible when practiced daily – if I can do it – you can do it – I am not better than you. We are humans with the same kind of brain and bodies. No excuses, you too can have the impeccable word.
The word is the closest thing to us – we use our language to express ourselves daily – why not use it in a positive impeccable way. Remember people may not remember you for very long, but they will always remember the way you make them feel. This is accomplished by your word, your actions, your attitude. Think of a person you know that tells you one thing and then never follows through. I’m sure you get tired of all their idle chatter and probably you eventually distance yourself. Now think of the person that tells you something and then follows through with what they say. They are a delight to be around since you can trust their word. The impeccable word - do as you say and say what you mean.
Remember, may the possibilities of today excite us ALL!
Author Bio: I am a woman with a passion to inspire and encourage women to be better women for themselves and for this world. I am creator/founder of a social networking website www.makegirlfriends.com where women can meet, share and inspire one another. My blog can be found at blog.makegirlfriends.com.
Posted by Shradha Balakrishnan on Sat, May 15, 2010
Guest post by Anna MillerNot all of us know what we want to become early in life; in fact, there are stages we go through where we move from one ambition to another before we finally decide before or in college what we really wish to do with the rest of our lives.
And even after we make this decision, there are other choices to make – do you need to continue with your education or are you ready to jump into a job? When you’re a woman, this decision becomes even more crucial considering that you have to weight your personal life against your professional one and try to balance the two equally.
Some women are happy being wives and full-time moms; they’re fulfilled by taking care of the home and looking after their families. Others need to achieve some level of professional success even before they can think of settling down. They usually take a break from work during their pregnancies and come back in a few months or when they feel their children are old enough to cope without them. And yet others prefer to immerse themselves in their profession without thinking too much about their personal lives; for these women, career success is an important life goal.
Grad school is a choice for those who are career oriented – if you want to become a doctor or a lawyer, you must apply for graduate studies and dedicate a good portion of your life to academia. But some aspiring professionals prefer to test the career waters before they go back to school to earn a graduate degree. For example, if you want to do an MBA or any other advanced business degree, it’s best to have some work experience under your belt.
Another deciding factor is money – it’s not cheap to earn an education these days. So if you’re struggling under a mountain of debt because of outstanding student loans, you’re likely to work for some time, pay off your loans, and earn enough to put yourself through grad school.
Also, women find that online education works well for them when they’re trying to juggle their personal and professional lives. Most of them don’t want to put their personal lives on hold just to pursue an education or a career – they prefer to do both simultaneously either because they’ve met the right man or because they feel their biological clocks ticking and want to start a family before it’s too late.
The choice of grad school or a job depends on:
- Your choice of career – some require you to apply for grad school immediately after your undergraduate degree while others allow you the freedom to work for a while before you decide to earn a master’s degree to further your career in terms of a promotion, raise, or both.
- Your personal preference – you may decide to stay in academia for a few more years rather than find a job.
- Your finances – you may be averse to taking out another loan to finance your graduate degree, so unless you’re able to find a scholarship, it’s best to start working so you can pay off your debt and start saving up for grad school.
This guest post is contributed by Anna Miller, who writes on the topic of online degree. She welcomes your comments at her email id: anna.miller009@gmail.com
Posted by Shradha Balakrishnan on Wed, May 12, 2010
A guest post by Pat Obuchowski:
"How desperately difficult it is to be honest with oneself. It is much easier to be honest with other people." |
~Edward F. Benson |
To be authentic is defined by dictionary.com to be trustworthy, honest, genuine, real. It is a particular way of dealing with the external world, while being faithful to our internal selves and our ideas rather than external influences and ideas.
The word originated in the early 1300's from the Latin autheniticus meaning "one who does things himself".
Some of my work involves coaching emerging leaders. These are leaders who are new to their specific leadership position and the primary work with these leaders is to help them find their own leadership style while being fully authentic. Being real.
According to Eric Fromm, behavior is considered to be authentic if it results from a personal understanding of its drives and origins, rather than merely from conformity with the perceived wisdom of the society.
Light Walk by H. Koppdelaney |
It's not easy being authentic in today's world. It is a difficult state to achieve due to the social pressures that surround us to "fit in", "be like...", and "live like...".
Not being authentic means projecting a persona that conflicts with your true character. This is like putting on an actor's mask and playing a different character than the one that is truly you. It shows up in your not saying what you feel. You may project a "know it all" persona, while in reality you need to learn so much more. You may have a continuously reproachful air when in reality you have a soft disposition. You may be a leader who believes in showing no emotions when you really have a tender and kind heart. There are numerous ways we mask our authenticity.
What a tragedy to live behind this type of mask. We can go through our entire life not knowing we wear a mask, or fearful of removing it as people will see the true person behind it.
Authenticity requires continuous self-exploration and self-knowledge. This is a lifelong process as we are always changing. This self-exploration alters our relationships with other people. People like us to stay the way we are. Changing is hard, but once we begin the journey of self exploration, there is no going back to being inauthentic.
The most dynamic leaders we have are those who lead by their core values and make known who they want to be in the world and what legacy they want to leave. This type of leader is consistent in their behavior regardless of what situation they find themselves in.
"To contact the deeper truth of who we are, we must engage in some activity or practice that questions what we assume to be true about ourselves." ~A. H. Almaas
You may get people to respond to a request (especially if their pay is involved); but only when you establish deep, human, emotional connections with people will they go out of their way to accomplish the difficult tasks needed to get exceptional results. If you're not authentic, you're less likely to establish those connections.
Authenticity is a state of being. You can't fake it and don't ever try to. People will know.
Here are a few questions to reflect on when taking a look at how you are being authentic:
- Who was your childhood hero and why?
- Who had the greatest impact on you as a leader and in what ways?
- What past mistakes have impacted you for the better as a leader?
- What do you most want to be remembered for as a leader?
- What is the legacy you want to leave?
- What advice could you most use right now as a leader?
- When is leadership fun for you?
- What was your very first leadership experience?
- What skills are you still using that you learned from this experience?
Meditation by H. Koppdelaney |
I'm not talking about anything new here. Authenticity has been a source of leadership throughout history. Socrates stated, "the unexamined life is not worth living." A Roman statesman once said, "A good speech is a good man speaking well," meaning that the audience needs to perceive the speaker as authentic.
The art of leadership is the art of simply being you. Communicate your authenticity with passion in all situations and it will bring you many rewards throughout your career and your life.
"We need to find the courage to say NO to the things and people that are not serving us if we want to rediscover ourselves and live our lives with authenticity."~Barbara de Angelis
Step into authentic leadership and play a Bigger Game in your life...don't wait...model leadership...the World needs us to do this.
Lead strong!
Pat
About Pat Obuchowski:
Pat Obuchowski is the CEO (Chief Empowerment Officer) of inVisionaria, a WBE certified and ICF credentialed Leadership, Business, and Team coaching organization. She currently serves as a Global Board Director for the International Coach Federation, the largest professional coaching association in the World.
Web: www.inVisionaria.com
Linked In: http://www.linkedin.com/in/patobuchowski
Twitter: Pat_Obuchowski
Posted by Kate Stence on Mon, Apr 26, 2010
Overcoming Your Fears: The Entrepreneur's Journey
So you want to be an entrepreneur, right? That was my life dream. It was my solution for "having it all": a successful professional, personal and family life. These were my motivations. What are yours?
Like many entrepreneurs, I had major fears before taking the plunge. Having the entrepreneur’s dream, and making it a reality are two different beasts. There are many mental roadblocks that can inhibit you from taking the plunge:
I’m not sure about my idea. What if I fail?
Failure is what happens when you stop trying. No idea is perfect. Ideas evolve much like people. They grow, change, and need to be nurtured to blossom. Too many people think the idea is the key to entrepreneurial success. In reality, the idea is just the starting point. The challenges come with the journey that follows.
When I started Marry Me Live, I was a true idea romantic. I quickly realized that business success could not rely on the idea alone. Execution and evolution is the key to business prosperity. Although we are still true to the original mission (enabling everyone to attend the wedding regardless of geography), everything else about the business has evolved and changed in one way or another.
It is such a big risk. Is it worth giving up job security?
We all say we want to be an entrepreneur when times are bad. The question you need to ask yourself is “Would I still be willing to give up my job when times are good?”
Entrepreneurship isn’t for everyone. There is risk. There are ups and downs. It takes a certain mindset to stay positive when things look bleak. If the entrepreneurial drive is stronger than the benefits you receive at the best of times, it is time to re-evaluate your situation.
Look yourself in the mirror and determine if your current position is getting you closer to your entrepreneurial dream. If the answer is “no”, staying in your current situation is the “bigger” risk.
I'm scared. How do I get over my fear of “taking the leap”?
You are likely reading this article because you want to take the leap. You are halfway there. You’ve done your research. If you have not done your research, start by talking to entrepreneurs. You will realize that they are not super humans, but everyday people like you and me. Those individuals took the leap because their passion for their business overtook their fear of failure.
Still not convinced? Do something that scares you just a little bit everyday. Talk to that handsome stranger in the elevator, go skydiving, sing karaoke in a very crowded bar, whatever it is that gets you out of your comfort zone.
When you realize you are still alive and breathing, you may be closer to taking that leap after all.
I cannot afford to be an entrepreneur! How will I finance the business?
If you are passionate about being an entrepreneur, you will find creative ways to make it work. It could be a part-time job, friends and family investment, small business loan, or being a full-time employee/nights and weekend entrepreneur.
Keep in mind that you may not be able to afford your current lifestyle. Being an entrepreneur takes sacrifice. But, when you have the vision, the sacrifice is worth it.
These are a just a few of the many thoughts that I’m sure are swirling around in your head. After reading this, if you still think you want to be an entrepreneur, the best advice I can give you is to not over-think the process!
The biggest hurdle of all is keeping your fear of the unknown in check. The entrepreneur’s journey is risky, but it is that same risk that can make your dream a reality. You will never feel completely prepared, but that is what makes the journey so thrilling. Once you realize this, taking the plunge is much easier than you think. So step back, relax and jump!
About the Author:
Stacy Yamaoka is the co-founder of Marry Me Live, a live wedding streaming and wedding webcasting service enabling wedding couples to share their wedding LIVE with family and friends around the world. Stacy Yamaoka is also the Director of College Mentorship for Future Women Leaders.
Posted by Jennifer Hu on Tue, Mar 30, 2010
Last week’s Women in Leadership Conference at the Haas School of Business could not have come at a better time! After a long applications season, I couldn’t believe I had an invitation to the MBA program of my choice. As the good news sunk in, I wondered about the road ahead, so I sought to learn from women trailblazers who had come before me. As FWL's VP of Development, I joined my fellow officers at this year's WIL Conference. 
Conversation at the consulting career panel featured a lively discussion of work-life balance issues. As a career switcher, I found the insights of experienced women in many firms incredibly helpful. A few tips for finding success that I found applicable across industries:
- Follow your own passions and seek out relationships with colleagues who share your values.
- Build your expertise so you can leverage unique strengths to negotiate salary and flexibility in your schedule.
- Learn about yourself and speak authentically to feel powerful in intimidating, male-dominated situations.
Earlier in the day, keynote speaker and founder of Bare Escentuals Leslie Blodgett spoke powerfully to the audience, sharing her story of founding her cosmetics line with down-to-earth confidence. Though I don’t have a particular interest in the cosmetics industry, I was touched by Leslie’s story of how much her relationships with customers matter to her and how she has been able to stay true to herself as the CEO of a growing company.
In addition to many other inspiring events at the conference, I also enjoyed the opportunity to connect with officers and attendees also creating their paths.
Did you attend WIL this year? What were your takeaways?
Posted by Shradha Balakrishnan on Tue, Feb 09, 2010
A guest post by Shannon Wills:
There’s no doubt that the Internet has given us a host of benefits and made the world a much smaller place than it is. We are now connected to every nook and corner of the earth, and information is no longer exclusive to a privileged few. One area where the World Wide Web has made significant contributions is online education – what started out as distance education where students were sent their study material through post and took their exams remotely has now bloomed into a full-fledged business that allows people to earn degrees from the comfort of their home.
The trends in online education have been changing since the time degrees were offered entirely online – earlier, there was a stigma attached to these degrees with employers and society refusing to accept them as equal to regular degrees that were earned in traditional institutions. The existence and rampant success of diploma mills that churned out fake degrees for money also did not help any, with people hesitant to accept even genuine online degrees as the real deal. And this meant that it was only those who had no other option left who turned to online schools to pursue an education.
Today however, there is a vast difference in how people perceive online education, especially since prestigious institutions like MIT have also jumped on this bandwagon and started offering its lessons online through its OpenCourseWare project. So we see the difference in the kind of students who enroll for online courses:
• While it earlier attracted mostly stay-at-home moms who had no time to attend regular college and for older men and women who felt out of place on campus, online education today is the choice of busy career men and women who look to these degrees to help further their profession and climb up the career ladder.
• Also, because of the recent recession, online education has become the savior of those who need to learn new skills to find better jobs, those who do not have enough money to afford a regular college education, those who wish to hold on to their jobs and also earn a degree so that they can further their careers, and for those who have been laid off and who seek to use their time constructively and in a cost-effective way.
• Veterans and others from the armed forces are turning to online education to help them gain skills to re-enter the mainstream workforce and fit better when they leave the army because of injuries or other reasons. They are able to learn from any place in the world, and when they leave the armed forces, they have a degree that will help them go places in the work world and also help support their families.
There’s no doubt that online education will continue to evolve and grow, and one day, it will become the norm rather than the anomaly.
This guest post is contributed by Shannon Wills, she writes on the topic of Online Engineering Degree . She welcomes your comments at her email id: shannonwills23@gmail.com.
Posted by Lauren Travis on Mon, Jan 25, 2010
Here are a couple of great resolution suggestions from Jo Miller of Women's Leadership Coaching, and lead facilitator of FWL's 2010 Leadership Development Program. Registration for the program ends on February 16.
1. Become more influential
Build your ability to influence, persuade, and motivate others, regardless of whether you have a management job title. Influencing Without Authority>>
2. Seek management’s buy-in for a new idea
Take a great technical idea, and sell it to your senior management by partnering with others to build credibility. Selling your technical idea to management >>
3. Don’t let others steal your ideas
Pitch persuasive proposals, and pitch yourself too, to get credit for your work. Getting Credit for Your Ideas >>
4. Learn to delegate effectively
Manage the work performance of others, without hovering about like a micro-manager. How Do I Delegate without Micromanaging >>
5. Build an influential network
You don’t need to be a “shmoozer” to be a good networker, when you include these five key types of people. Five Key People You Need in Your Network >>
To see 5 more resolutions, visit
10 Resolutions Every Women Should Make. To learn more about the LDP and to register for the final information session on February 4, visit the
FWL Leadership Development Program homepage.
Posted by Shradha Balakrishnan on Mon, Jan 25, 2010
The 2010 Haas School of Business Women in Leadership Conference is coming up! Thought this may be just the kind of opportunity many of you have been eagerly awaiting.
