Women's Leadership Blog

How to Speak Up (Without Speaking Down)

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• Be a good listener. To be a good communicator, you first have to be an attentive listener. Listening, along with face-to-face communication, is becoming a lost art in our tech-savvy society.  When you tell the receptionist “good morning,” and she mumbles “maybe for you,” do you notice?  Did you really hear what she said?  She may be saying, “I need to talk to someone.”  You may not have time for a 20 minute session, but you can stop for a minute, listen, and maybe even speak an encouraging word. People just want to be heard—and you know how frustrated you feel when no one hears you.  In meetings, be careful to listen as well as interject your opinions when appropriate.  Don't try to dominate the conversation, but speak up if you have something worthwhile to contribute.  Don't talk just to hear the sound of your own voice.  This kind of communicator is easy to recognize, and managers aren’t impressed with those who monopolize the discussion.

• Be mindful of your tone. You can say something as simple as, “I need this in ten minutes,” and it can be conveyed at least three different ways.  Your tone of voice can tell the person you are communicating with that you are angry at them, angry at someone else, or simply pressed for time.  How you say something speaks a separate message to your listener. In meetings, don't be overly anxious and rush through your presentations, as this conveys nervousness. Speak slowly, clearly, and with confidence.

• Be aware of your body language. Your body language communicates volumes to the people around you.  If you are in a meeting and you cross your arms, this may indicate to those around you that you are closed to what is being discussed.  Rolling your eyes when a suggestion is made by a colleague says more about you than the other person.  In business, you have to maintain a professional, courteous demeanor at all times if you truly want to be successful.  Managers observe how subordinates communicate with each other as much, if not more, than how they communicate with their superiors. Plus, in a position of authority, you’ll likely have to communicate often with your subordinates. If your body language says “I don’t care,” this attitude could work against you when you’re applying for a position that offers increased responsibility and leverage.

• Don't gossip. More times than not, office gossip will come back to haunt you.  You will never build yourself up by putting someone else down.  If your colleagues are prone to gossip, simply choose not to participate (I know, easier said than done.) If someone begins their conversation with, “Did you hear that story about...” you can listen, politely say “no,” and redirect your attention back to work. Eventually, your coworkers will understand that you are above that sort of thing, and they won't invite you to participate. Alternately, if you are the subject of office gossip, confront the person who is circulating rumors, clarify the facts, and nip it in the bud.